Chris Brown Shows Us What Happens To Any Man Who Touches Rihanna
By Dan Hopper

If Chris Brown really is pulling a ‘Jason Biggs in American Pie‘ just from touching Rihanna, you know what? I can’t really blame him:

Rihanna and Chris Brown

I’m sure the same thing would happen to me if I ever met Jane Siegel from Mad Men. Who among us can judge?

I’m Beginning To Wonder If Chris Brown Has A J*zz-In-The-Pants Problem
By Sara Schaefer

Here’s a video of Chris Brown at a concert, where he has an obvious boner while performing. First off, he’s wearing shiny pants that really accentuate the boner. Secondly, he repeatedly tries to shove it down. Then, when you combine this incident with his clear j*zz-in-the-pants incident with Rihanna last week, I’m beginning to wonder if Chris is in way over his head with this stardom stuff. He’s just a country boy from Tappahannock, maybe he’s not ready for thousands of screaming (and most likely topless) fans!

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